Tuesday, August 31, 2010

10/9 Denial

10/9
Most of this week has involved me searching out information re: multiples and parents of multiples. I've saturated my mind with information and stories and pictures—this is likely my primary coping mechanism of intellectualization kicking in…I feel that if I have enough exposure to it, the shock will wear off. :) What's happened as a result? I am now firmly in denial. Noooo, there are NOT three babies in me. :) And, as I've yet to see their little hearts beat, this may be the case—which would be very sad. Tomorrow is the ultrasound in which we will find out if 1, 2, or 3 little hearts started beating this week. Miraculous. I'm praying for each of their safety and healthy growth, while at the same time, I remain firmly planted in denial. (Who says you can't ever be in two places at once? I am firmly in these two polar opposite states of mind.:))

Last night as Dave and I lay in bed talking through details, the best and worst case scenarios…our worries and hopes, I tearfully began to pray for our finances and provision. This morning, I got a text from my old boss asking if I could please do some work for them at home, at my convenience, for a good wage? Thank you, God, for providing this for us! A clear way of saying you hear us and will help us, if we ask. I'm thankful for that, Lord, because we just won't be able to do this on our own. We will need help and provision! Thank you for being a caring and involved God—and for bringing us challenges (this one is joyful) that make us turn to, and rely on You. 

And now, we wait, for tomorrow's ultrasound. 

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